I’m not a love expert. I just know when i’m in love or so i thought. The thin line between true love, infatuation, deep passion or a passing fancy is so thin it always confuse me. All of which i have embraced in this unpredictable life of mine.
Hearing the song “You don’t bring me flowers” this valentine season has brought back some sweet memories and some bittersweet too. Valentines day really has a way of bringing back memories. Memories and lessons learned.
How will i know if it is really true love or just a passing fancy?
Honestly i still don’t know. i admit i’m still totally clueless when it comes to my feelings, but some things i’m sure though, something inside me tells me i’m maybe in love but then it is not true love. Thanks to my wandering heart i just feel it (although feelings are fleeting), so i come up with my list of a telltale signs of a confused heart , although enlightenment is the last thing i need. After all, the less you know, the more exciting it is.
1. Your greatest love is not usually meant to last.
I’m not generalizing here, to each his own and everyone has their own story. So just because it’s against all odds and not meant to last it doesn’t mean it is not true love. Yes, true love survives but sometimes just like that famous song “love ain’t enough.”
first sign of a wandering heart: If you are not sure , then it is not true love and when you are so sure, you still have to find out if it will last. Only time can tell.
2. You keep searching and hoping.
Second sign: They say true love needs nothing else, no one else except you and that person. If you still keep looking then it’s not true love. I don’t want to explain further for i experience this trap several times and i realized that love can mean different things to different people but one thing universal is the feeling of security and trust , that unquestionable feeling of being happy and secured with that person that you don’t feel a sense of urgency in looking or searching for something else. You feel complete regardless of who, what, when, how and why.
3. You don’t bring me flowers. You don’t sing me love songs.
Expecting more because you give more. Who says love is about being fair? And yes again i fall into this trap, and i’m just human. If i gave you my 100 percent, i expect to get a 100 or more. And when you don’t bring me flowers just like the way you used to i begin to suspect that love is no longer there , and oh boy, most of the time i am right (my rational mind would say so) but it surprises me that most of the time i am also wrong (my rational mind can’t explain this). Leave it to that and i realized Love is not about getting equally what you give but love is more about selfless giving.
4. I will survive with or without you.
If at any point in your relationship this phrase entered your mind. then you have a wondering mind and a wandering heart. You know it is true love when you don’t preoccupy your mind with what could have been or what will be? Well, they say true love thinks only about the present regardless of the consequence. Cliche as it may sound, “You can never be wise and be in love at the same time.”
5. You always think you deserve better.
Just because you are in love it doesn’t mean you have to be shortchanged. But then again love knows no logic. It is just the way it is. When doubt sets in, insecurities envelop us and thinking all about yourself begins to overshadow everything between you and your partner , that’s a telltale sign you still have a wandering heart . But if there’s one good thing about it, it only means you are still human. Love doesn’t mean you have to be a doormat but then if it makes you one, better be a beautiful loving doormat.
By the way, please don’t take this article seriously. I’m just making things up here so i can post something for valentines day and just like everyone else and that famous song , “I don’t really know what love is.” All i know is i just feel it.
Well don’t get me wrong here , They always say Love is not about feelings, it’s about commitment. There you go, if you are not committed then it is not true love (?). I still don’t know, i have a lifetime to know it.
I only wish for two things to happen in my lifetime (Selfish wishes you may say 😉 )
1. To see Same Sex Marriage happened in my country (although i know it won’t happen this generation)
2. To see A Filipina win the Miss Universe title while i’m still alive.
Although we had 2 past ms. universe winners, i never experience witnessing A Miss Universe winner in my generation, so if i can’t witness the marriage thing, i’ll just wish for the second one. One out of two isn’t bad at all . After all, Hope springs eternal.
Feelings are like mirrors. It trick us with our reflections. Emotions are like paintings, it is subject to one’s interpretation.
For the eye is not open when it is limited to the lightings in the mirror. And the wisdom to understand the paintings through the colors of one’s emotions is always on a standstill until someone told you it isn’t so.
But how can they refute the visible stroke of the brush that you see when you see someone’s masterpiece as not your own but a part of what you long for?
As the mirror spreads the light and the painting shows its colors, you gasped in awe how your face changes sometimes. Some days you see a youthful face, some days you see wrinkles. Never the same, but always changing.
Just as what Pablo Picasso once said: “Who sees the human face correctly, the photographer, the mirror or the painter?”
I know i’ll never know the answer. And i intend to keep it that way.