“Where do I begin,” (that famous line from a familiar song) to tell a story where I’ve been. Been somewhere, anywhere, nope, truthfully nowhere.
Now I don’t know how to start. They say time heals all wounds, and if missing something is a wound, and starting all over again is a form of healing then let me have a thousand scars for although I’m not a masochist, I welcome the pain of waiting. And if somehow one can’t understand what I’m conveying, it’s okay not to be understood once in a while. Why would I expect others to understand if I, myself don’t understand where I’ve been, eventhough I always claimed I know where I’m heading.
Subject verb agreement, punctuation errors and a lot of grammatical lapses. I am not an English writer and it does not pain me when I tender my resignation letter and realized that he’s not reading my letter. Yes, he is not hearing me, he is looking at my letter telling me how in the world can I write a resignation letter with misspelled words and grammatical lapses. That deceitful feeling of finally getting even by giving him a hard time deciphering what I meant when I said I’m leaving. Or is it just the real me when I blabber with incongruent statements because truthfully I am a weird eccentric person who is not good in saying goodbye.
So I closed the door and walked away…. But in no time I’m back in his arms, restartng what could have been, what might have been, what should have been and all those in betweens.
Been There. Done That. How I wish I could truthfully say that. 🙂
I wonder why I have few photos in any shopping malls i’ve been to.
Let me guess. All of them almost look the same? Nope not really. Every shopping mall is distinctive in its own way. Each one has its own unique ambiance and feel.
Now I know why I have such a few shopping mall photos. It’s because i’m not really a shopaholic or a shopping diva. I get an orgasmic feeling (oops, pardon my words) in visiting museums or dropping by in flea markets.
I’m such a cheapskate when it comes to splurge shopping but it doesn’t mean I don’t get excited everytime i hopped in a mall.
It still offers a variety of experience:
– the excitement of letting my fingers run through a mountain of color coded items during the rummage sale and ending up not buying a single thing.
(This is not intentional. I’m not here to give store people a hellish experience. It happened just once, nope, just twice, alright, i admit several times but i do buy when i see something i like.)
– the smile in my face when i see an artful window display.
– the hedonistic pleasure I derived from watching people as I sit on the bench pretending to be waiting for someone when in fact i’m just sitting because i don’t have a single cent to spend on that too good to be true discounted signature items splashed all over the mall.
(Did you see that va vaboom lady carrying a handful of LV’s with her daddy? I’m not being bitter here. Envy is a green eyed monster, jealousy is blue, my eyes are neither of the two)
–and that endless rebuttal with a friend proving my point that yes he is really her daddy, not the kind of thing that causes diabetes. Until someone nearby butts in telling us to mind our own business. Priceless!
(Look who’s talking, unwanted eavesdropper, if only I could tell her to mind her own business too.)
There are things that money can’t buy. Cliche as it may sound, the best things in life are still free.
If time creates memory and memory defines time, where am i?
Am i still in the past when i hope that the good things i have will last?
Or am i now in the present when my future steps in a split second
For sure i’m not yet in the future because i still keep my prayer in my door.
If my past defines my future, where will my present be?
Is it in the middle of the two, a prelude to a future past beyond my grasp?
If my present decides my future, who decides my past?
Wasn’t my past was also once my future in the not so distant present?
Time really confuses me, so i let go of my time. They say spend it wisely.
Does being wise mean you spend your time preparing for your future?
But how can you prepare for your future without neglecting the precious present?
How can you be wise when it goes so quickly?
Good thing i got memories.
But memories belong to the past not the future.
And time moves in a different direction, memory in another.
Time moves forward. Memory relives the past.
I’ll just enjoy the moment. I don’t know how to spend my time wisely.
I’ll just use it.
I was in Vegas when i saw the M & M’s World. I hurriedly went inside and did not let the moment pass without capturing it through my lens as fast as the memories start flashing again.
M and M’s, how would i forget them? They’re the first imported chocolates i’ve tasted.
I remember my excitement everytime my aunt from oregon visit us, bringing loads of chocolates, the first i always grab were these colorful mini chocolates
Although the local brands are superb too, which i always buy in the “sari-sari” store outside our house, i don’t know why at such a young age, i’m partial to imported chocolates.
Not that they taste better, as a child all chocolates taste the same anyway. Perhaps the excitement is due to the fact that when you’re a child, you look forward to the things you don’t usually eat or see around daily.
I only got to eat them everytime a relative from the states would drop by.
Here in the Philippines, We call the United States “states”, and even if some relatives from other place like london, wellington, or sydney would drop us a visit and give us “pasalubongs” (presents), we presumed they are from the states.
So anything “stateside” (or imported) is really appreciated.
Why do i love M&M’s?
First, M & M’s are so colorful.
Imagine seeing assorted colors in tiny bits. I’m amazed by its colors. I remember taking each bit out from the pack, put them in my palm, look at it intensely as if i’m scrutinizing an artifact.
Second, you don’t just eat it, you play with it.
I remember us playing M and M’s games. We close our eyes, randomly pick any m &m’s and guess the right color. And if you got it right, you get a bigger share.
I also got excited putting them all in a bowl segregating all the colors and eating them by the color. Mind you, i would even count each color and complain why there are more oranges than reds!
One Christmas day on a family gathering, my cousin devise a game and told us that we would eat M&Ms. She will segregate it by colors on a bowl and each one should eat only the specific color that one randomly pick through the raffle. Whoever got to eat the most number of M & M’s in the shortest span of time wins the game. Everybody agreed, until i protest.
I told her that’s unfair because most of the time, there are more oranges than reds, and more blues than greens.
“How’d you know?” was her response, “I always count them before i eat them.” was my reply.
Suddenly a sudden burst of laughter, i see all of them laughing! What’s wrong with them? I learned to count and learned my first math because of m&m’s.
Humiliated, i ran and hide in the room. I cried and decided not to join the game. There you go, my first ever broken heart, chocolate experience.
You get excited playing games on your own, while eating, guessing what color would come out this time and discovering the last color left in the pack, meaning it’s the winning color for that day. Oh, the simple joys of childhood.
As Forrest Gump would say, “Life is a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.”
That is so true. Just like life, when you want more reds, life hand you more blues.
And even if you wish that you should have gotten the other color, you still stand up for what you got. Take it. Lick it. Eat it.
And you’ll never know, the next time you pick that bit, you might get what you really want. 🙂
Truly life is not life without any kind of love. Life begins with love and ends in love. Romantic love, Family love, self-love, selfish love, selfless love, whatever kind of love that keeps you going.
And love should not always be romantic.
Any passion that makes you wake up in the morning with rays of hope is also love.
You may be childless but you can love a child not your own or hate the mess they put you in but still love creating books for them.
How is that possible? I don’t know. All i know is life is full of mysterious things inexplicable by logic such as love. If only i know the answers. Oh, i’d rather keep it that way, after all, Life starts with L for love and learning and ends in letter E for end. Life ends. Love doesn’t.
Life is Learning and Love is encompassing. No wonder both of them have only four letters.
Both words start with L and ends in E. The only difference is the letters in between.
Life has a big If , and if you take away the f, then life becomes a lie,
but love doesn’t include if. No wonder we love without If’s, most of the time i guess.
Love’s in between letters are OV. I can’t think of any words that starts with Ov.
Well, Over? When love is over , one thinks life ends. But that confuses me, if those two in between letters differentiate life from love, then why is the ending the same?
Oh never mind, life is really simple i just make it complicated. So instead of defining life, I’d rather write a poetry. 🙂
I was in Marina Bay Sands Skypark enjoying the cool air and the splendid view when i noticed a huge Ferris Wheel standing tall from a distance. So i took a photo, sat on a floor and politely ask a stranger to take my photo with the Ferris Wheel as a backdrop.
The kind stranger told me it’s not a Ferris Wheel, it’s called “The Singapore Flyer.” Thanks for the view and the info, i decided that i won’t leave singapore without trying that ride.
The Singapore Flyer is just a walking distance from the Skypark and for a mere 29 singapore dollars one can already experience the flyer ride. It’s a totally different experience from the skypark as this time it gives you an entirely different view of singapore’s skyline from the moving angles of your flight.
It’s like flying, slowly, vertically and seeing a different perspective on how your surrounding changes depending on how and where you look at. It’s like a ferris wheel ride you experienced during your childhood days but this time it’s more of an awe and less of a scream. One get awed on how a single place can look so different depending on how you are moving.
Just like life, a single moment can have a thousand perspectives depending on how you look at it and the angles of the movement where your sight is leading. There are views that were always there but were overlooked because our vision is just relative to the direction where we are standing. Suddenly the same place looks bigger or smaller as one moves during the ride.
The ride reminds me of a journey, as it moves from top to bottom, you feel a different high when you see the world while you’re on top and feel a willful surrender when you’re at the bottom with high hopes for changes without even knowing that it will always be the same. The only time it will change is when one open his sights to different angles, just like that singapore flyer ride, the views are always there, it’s the ride that changes the view.
Passing by a window display, staring at the faceless mannequin, a sense of wonder touches me. Why most of the time that faceless thing wears an outfit classier than mine.
That awkward moment when it can pull off an outfit better than i can. So i tried to fit in all the sizes, trying so hard to replicate that thing and suddenly end up buying just to boost my self esteem.
That moment when i thought that fashion is all about name and not feelings.
How can a faceless emotionless mannequin tell me what’s good for me and what’s not?
I look into it and i suddenly see myself, a clueless expression covering my real emotions. The inner voice whispering that fashion is you, only if you truly feel it, not how others see you nor on how the trends define you.
Fashion is never wrong. It’s like the clouds that change its shapes and the sky that changes its color. To be engulfed by it is like eating a cake and licking an ice cream.
Some days they’re so sweet, some days you don’t feel it , not because your mood dictates your taste buds but only because you think time is the culprit.
It changes as fast as that ice cream melts long before it touches your lips so you better have it.
So different from Art that time is not a chief antagonist but a friendly ally. Fashion is an art, but art can never be fashion. Art is timeless.
So next time i look at the faceless mannequin and see a beautiful window display, i just smile. I know i will never be Fashion. I will always be an Art.
The bright blue sky above the tranquil blue sea, a small boat reminding me of life sailing away. To find a better shore or just to find some peace, why am I speechless if I have a thousand words to say?
Yes, life is like a river, the stream is always moving. Moments pass us once but memories keep returning. Life is also like an ocean, its vastness bewilders me. The serene and calm water with its sudden splashing waves.
Amazed by the sunrise as I look at the great ocean view, reminding me that today is no longer yesterday . Yet, why am i frightened by a beautiful sunset? Perhaps because the fading sun welcomes darkness and its hues, reminding me that daylight needs to rest and need to stray the view.
And if I jump and start to follow the promise of a beautiful shore, I might get adrift by the whims of the ocean’s lore. But if I choose to stay and hold on for one more day, will everything stays the same as the boat has sailed away?
*** An excerpt from my not so worn out diary. Not my current state of mind, i just want to use a corresponding story for the photo. Oh, why am i explaining? I should be speechless right? 🙂
Years ago, i saw a double-decker bus in Rizal park, a park and amusement center in Manila. As a young child, i was so amazed to see a two storey bus, i wonder how it feels to ride on top of the deck and see the world from the top.
We were on the park walking when my dad told us that we will go to the circle to try the “bump ride”. My brother jump with joy finally knowing that he can experience driving an electric kiddie car .
The baby car where one can drive and use one’s skill to avoid bumping or should i say intentionally bump others so you can have fun. A very typical kiddie male kind of thing, driving and bumping to satiates one’s thrill glands. You wouldn’t call it a “Bump A Car Ride” if you always end up avoiding a bump, that won’t be fun at all.
My parents were surprised when i told them i don’t like that ride. I’d rather ride the bus, pointing to the double decker bus that ply all over the street.
My mom said, “you want to ride the love bus?” , I nod and say “yes.” (Love Bus? I was wondering how come it was called The Love Bus when its color was blue, it should have been painted red as red is the color of love.)
Yes, red is the color of love. I see red roses being sold outside my school during valentines. Santa Claus wears red and he loves us all kids. Red love letters, rosy red cheeks when you blushed and all those red wines associated with a candlelit dinner during valentines.
Years later, i realized why the love bus is blue, because sometimes love can make your world so blue after making you so red!
After trying the bump ride , my parents finally agreed to try the Love Bus after pestering them (pardon my word) with “I don’t want a candy , i want to ride the love bus, i don’t like to eat that burger, i want to ride that bus!”( I’m not really a brat, i just know what i want.)
Imagine my excitement when we climb the stairs of the bus and finally reaching the top. Although manila is not filled with tall buildings that time, i was bewildered seeing the clouds, looking up, looking down at the jeepneys that ply the street, the cool breeze of the wind that touches your face. For a young mind, it’s everything.
It was in hong kong when i experienced my second (and so far my last) double decker bus ride on our family holiday but wonders of wonder it never occurred to me why i never tried riding those double-decker buses while i’m in vegas or while i’m traveling anywhere where there are several double decker bus trips.
And yet as a grown up (well, not that i did really grow up as my mom always ask me “to grow up” after all these years) i will always take a second look everytime i see a double decker bus passed by.
That’s why i even hurriedly ask a stranger to take my photo when i saw a parked red double-decker bus while i was strolling in downtown toronto . Finally, the Love Bus is red this time.
The thrill of riding a double decker bus was gone but the memories of the first time (as always) will linger.
Although i’ll never know when i’ll be riding a double decker bus again, one thing is for sure, i will ride the Love Bus anytime and it doesn’t matter if it’s red or blue.
Fishing is a great time buster , a way to enjoy nature and a great stress reliever. I can actually cite a hundred reasons to do it but i respect your time so i come up with just 5 good ones:
Fishing with family and friends cultivate bonding. It strengthens your relationship when you have enjoyable shared activities with people who mattered. Well, unless of course you start fishing into their private life behind their back, that’s a different story. Proves that you don’t really need to go outdoors to go fishing. Just go online, log in to your facebook and you can tweet who’s got the largest fish in the group.
2. Health Reasons
It’s always better to get your own fish…fresh, as wild fish are known to be low in fat and cholesterol and high in protein and there are many fishes in the ocean, especially the wild ones! 🙂
You get a certain fulfillment. Who wouldn’t? After a long bout of sitting and doing nothing, it’s such a great joy catching a big fish.
It brings out the best in you. You find creative ways of using a great pawn to bait the one you’ve been longing for.
Fishing is educational.
– It teaches you a lot of lessons.
– You learned more about yourself, your strengths, hopes and wishes.
– It tests your patience and willpower that no matter what, by hook or by crook you won’t go home empty handed.
Fishing is like life, just when you thought you had the perfect expensive equipment to catch that elusive fish, somewhere along the way you’ll discover that it’s not how much you have or how prepared you are for that moment that gives you the exact advantage.
And at the start of that fishing expedition you won’t really settle for anything less than that “huge catch” because you rightfully deserve something bigger , not until you realized that it’s almost dusk, you’d rather have one crappy fish than nothing at all.