“Where do I begin,” (that famous line from a familiar song) to tell a story where I’ve been. Been somewhere, anywhere, nope, truthfully nowhere.
Now I don’t know how to start. They say time heals all wounds, and if missing something is a wound, and starting all over again is a form of healing then let me have a thousand scars for although I’m not a masochist, I welcome the pain of waiting. And if somehow one can’t understand what I’m conveying, it’s okay not to be understood once in a while. Why would I expect others to understand if I, myself don’t understand where I’ve been, eventhough I always claimed I know where I’m heading.
Subject verb agreement, punctuation errors and a lot of grammatical lapses. I am not an English writer and it does not pain me when I tender my resignation letter and realized that he’s not reading my letter. Yes, he is not hearing me, he is looking at my letter telling me how in the world can I write a resignation letter with misspelled words and grammatical lapses. That deceitful feeling of finally getting even by giving him a hard time deciphering what I meant when I said I’m leaving. Or is it just the real me when I blabber with incongruent statements because truthfully I am a weird eccentric person who is not good in saying goodbye.
So I closed the door and walked away…. But in no time I’m back in his arms, restartng what could have been, what might have been, what should have been and all those in betweens.
Been There. Done That. How I wish I could truthfully say that. 🙂
I wonder why I have few photos in any shopping malls i’ve been to.
Let me guess. All of them almost look the same? Nope not really. Every shopping mall is distinctive in its own way. Each one has its own unique ambiance and feel.
Now I know why I have such a few shopping mall photos. It’s because i’m not really a shopaholic or a shopping diva. I get an orgasmic feeling (oops, pardon my words) in visiting museums or dropping by in flea markets.
I’m such a cheapskate when it comes to splurge shopping but it doesn’t mean I don’t get excited everytime i hopped in a mall.
It still offers a variety of experience:
– the excitement of letting my fingers run through a mountain of color coded items during the rummage sale and ending up not buying a single thing.
(This is not intentional. I’m not here to give store people a hellish experience. It happened just once, nope, just twice, alright, i admit several times but i do buy when i see something i like.)
– the smile in my face when i see an artful window display.
– the hedonistic pleasure I derived from watching people as I sit on the bench pretending to be waiting for someone when in fact i’m just sitting because i don’t have a single cent to spend on that too good to be true discounted signature items splashed all over the mall.
(Did you see that va vaboom lady carrying a handful of LV’s with her daddy? I’m not being bitter here. Envy is a green eyed monster, jealousy is blue, my eyes are neither of the two)
–and that endless rebuttal with a friend proving my point that yes he is really her daddy, not the kind of thing that causes diabetes. Until someone nearby butts in telling us to mind our own business. Priceless!
(Look who’s talking, unwanted eavesdropper, if only I could tell her to mind her own business too.)
There are things that money can’t buy. Cliche as it may sound, the best things in life are still free.
If time creates memory and memory defines time, where am i?
Am i still in the past when i hope that the good things i have will last?
Or am i now in the present when my future steps in a split second
For sure i’m not yet in the future because i still keep my prayer in my door.
If my past defines my future, where will my present be?
Is it in the middle of the two, a prelude to a future past beyond my grasp?
If my present decides my future, who decides my past?
Wasn’t my past was also once my future in the not so distant present?
Time really confuses me, so i let go of my time. They say spend it wisely.
Does being wise mean you spend your time preparing for your future?
But how can you prepare for your future without neglecting the precious present?
How can you be wise when it goes so quickly?
Good thing i got memories.
But memories belong to the past not the future.
And time moves in a different direction, memory in another.
Time moves forward. Memory relives the past.
I’ll just enjoy the moment. I don’t know how to spend my time wisely.
I’ll just use it.
I was in Vegas when i saw the M & M’s World. I hurriedly went inside and did not let the moment pass without capturing it through my lens as fast as the memories start flashing again.
M and M’s, how would i forget them? They’re the first imported chocolates i’ve tasted.
I remember my excitement everytime my aunt from oregon visit us, bringing loads of chocolates, the first i always grab were these colorful mini chocolates
Although the local brands are superb too, which i always buy in the “sari-sari” store outside our house, i don’t know why at such a young age, i’m partial to imported chocolates.
Not that they taste better, as a child all chocolates taste the same anyway. Perhaps the excitement is due to the fact that when you’re a child, you look forward to the things you don’t usually eat or see around daily.
I only got to eat them everytime a relative from the states would drop by.
Here in the Philippines, We call the United States “states”, and even if some relatives from other place like london, wellington, or sydney would drop us a visit and give us “pasalubongs” (presents), we presumed they are from the states.
So anything “stateside” (or imported) is really appreciated.
Why do i love M&M’s?
First, M & M’s are so colorful.
Imagine seeing assorted colors in tiny bits. I’m amazed by its colors. I remember taking each bit out from the pack, put them in my palm, look at it intensely as if i’m scrutinizing an artifact.
Second, you don’t just eat it, you play with it.
I remember us playing M and M’s games. We close our eyes, randomly pick any m &m’s and guess the right color. And if you got it right, you get a bigger share.
I also got excited putting them all in a bowl segregating all the colors and eating them by the color. Mind you, i would even count each color and complain why there are more oranges than reds!
One Christmas day on a family gathering, my cousin devise a game and told us that we would eat M&Ms. She will segregate it by colors on a bowl and each one should eat only the specific color that one randomly pick through the raffle. Whoever got to eat the most number of M & M’s in the shortest span of time wins the game. Everybody agreed, until i protest.
I told her that’s unfair because most of the time, there are more oranges than reds, and more blues than greens.
“How’d you know?” was her response, “I always count them before i eat them.” was my reply.
Suddenly a sudden burst of laughter, i see all of them laughing! What’s wrong with them? I learned to count and learned my first math because of m&m’s.
Humiliated, i ran and hide in the room. I cried and decided not to join the game. There you go, my first ever broken heart, chocolate experience.
You get excited playing games on your own, while eating, guessing what color would come out this time and discovering the last color left in the pack, meaning it’s the winning color for that day. Oh, the simple joys of childhood.
As Forrest Gump would say, “Life is a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.”
That is so true. Just like life, when you want more reds, life hand you more blues.
And even if you wish that you should have gotten the other color, you still stand up for what you got. Take it. Lick it. Eat it.
And you’ll never know, the next time you pick that bit, you might get what you really want. 🙂